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| |  | 2005 | Home » » » » The Austere Academy (A Series of Unfortunate Events #5) | | | | | | | Description: | | Dear Reader, If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire arc intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don't. For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives. Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E., and the metric system. It is my solemn duty to stay up all night researching and writing the history of these three hapless youngsters, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably choose some other book. With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
| | | Features: | |
• ISBN13: 9780064408639
• Condition: New
• Notes: BUY WITH CONFIDENCE, Over one million books sold! 98% Positive feedback. Compare our books, prices and service to the competition. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed
| | | Product Details: | | | Author:
| Lemony Snicket | | Hardcover:
| 240 pages | | Publisher:
| HarperCollins | | Publication Date:
| August 31, 2000 | | Language:
| English | | ISBN:
| 0064408639 | | Package Length:
| 7.1 inches | | Package Width:
| 5.1 inches | | Package Height:
| 0.9 inches | | Package Weight:
| 0.65 pounds | | Average Customer Rating:
|  based on 251 reviews |
| | | | Customer Reviews: | |
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 Fantastincly AwesomeApr 15, 2010
I got this book for Christmas, and it was very good. It came in perfect condition, and very fast shipping. I totally recommend this and all other Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler)books. If you buy this, I hope you enjoy it as much I did.
The Austere Academy: A reviewJan 12, 2010
This book by Lemony Snicket, is an amazing book about three orphans whose parents die in a horrible fire. They are on a journey to have a good life and to save their friends, but watch out for Count Olaf.
This story starts off with the three miserable orphans starting at the new academy they will be attending. They didn't want to go in because they knew that they will encounter misery and sure enough, they were right. Before, they were living with horrible guardians, and now they are living at horrible school.
Violet is the eldest Baudelaire orphan and is fourteen years old. She is an inventor and her skills are very useful. Klaus is the middle orphan and is twelve years old. He is an amazing reader and read more books than anyone I ever read about. Sunny is no bigger than a watermelon and has four sharp teeth that she uses to bite. She loves to bite things. Mr.Poe is in charge of the orphans gigantic fortune that was left behind after the death of their parents. Isadore and Duncan Quagmire are orphans, too, except their parents left behind precious sapphires. Count Olaf is an evil criminal that is trying to steel their fortunes.
The orphans have to stay at a shack instead of a room with a bed. They meet some good friends, Isadore and Duncan Quagmire. My favorite part is when Isadore and Duncan try to save the orphans. Principal Nero has a six hour concert every night. He plays his violin for six hours! It will be hard for the orphans to do anything without Principal Nero stopping them.
I like this book because you don't know what to expect. It's so amazing! It makes me laugh out loud.
I recommend this book to anyone who likes books in a series. I think you will enjoy this book I believe the arthor wrote this book for entertainment.
Memento MoriDec 17, 2009
This is the fifth book in the series. If you just picked it up you should start from the first book as the story builds on each previous book. You will notice a common theme running through the stories. However the details change as you learn reading and inventing and biting skills.
Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire finally get to go to school. Well Sunny is too young so she becomes an administrative assistant. Of course who should turn up but Coach Genghis. And we all know who he is. Once again Count Olaf has the three Baudelaire brats running around in circles, as they try to illuminate his plan. This time his plot is so insidious tat you will not be able to anticipate it.
Along the way we learn many lessons, the least of which is the value of utensils.
1 of 2 found the following review helpful:
 Not Much Learning Going OnNov 02, 2009
THE SETUP
The series setup is that the parents of Violet, Kraus, and infant Sunny were killed in a fire, which destroyed their home and made them orphans. Their evil uncle Count Olaf schemes to get custody of them, in order to rob the Baudelaire fortune.
In "The Austere Academy" (book 5), the three Baudelaire orphans, 14 year-old Violet, 12 year-old Klaus, and infant Sunny, are sent a private boarding school run by vice-principle Nero. They meet obnoxious Carmeleta Spats, but also make friends with Duncan and Isadora Quagmire. Shortly thereafter evil uncle Count Olaf is hired as the gym teacher.
BOOKS 1 to 5
Books 1 to 5 are written in what I can only describe as dark droll asinine British talking-down-to children humor, becoming increasingly dark and depressing. The author isn't British, but obviously misspent his youth overdosing on Monte Python re-runs. He strains to be clever and witty, and succeeds, no doubt to the applause of his adult friends.
It is one thing for an adult to do funny voices, ad lib, and exaggerate when telling a story or reading to children, but it isn't the same written in a book--it's disconcerting, if not a tad creepy. These are books for adults to read to young children, not for children to try to read on their own. Children are not sophisticated enough to catch the difference between truth and droll exaggeration on paper--spoken tone and inflection make all the difference.
The books are too bleak and depressing for it's target audience, e.g., 4 to 8 year olds. The "bad things" are not goblins, trolls, and orcs which can be dismissed as "pretend". The bad things are ordinary adults. Most children either live in broken home, have never known a father, or have friends in those situations--and can easily imagine losing the remaining custodial parent. There's nothing scarier to a child. Add to that the knowledge that they are not nearly as cleaver as the Baudelaires. Now that's terrifying.
In Books 1 to 5, Count Olaf is portrayed as a clever greedy schemer.
On the positive side, the message of self-reliance is certainly beneficial, albeit balanced by the message that all adults are stupid, untrustworthy, and/or evil. Again, an intelligent, trustworthy, decent adult reader is essential to balance the message.
Since I was a small child, I've detested "children's" literature such as the animated cartoon "Bullwinkle", and most recent "Disney" animations, which are actually written for adults with adult cultural references and double entendres that only an adult could catch. Handler doesn't use adult cultural references or double entendres--his schtick is mis-defining words--which, in my opinion, is the equivalent of lying to a child, a form of child abuse.
BOOKS 6 to 13
Book 6 to 13 are of an entirely different style--either they were writen by a different author or Daniel Handler just started taking his anti-psychotic medications). Books 6 to 13 appear to be genuinely written for 10-year-olds to early teens, but are fun reading for adults as well. More effort is made to define "advanced vocabulary" words accurately, and the books actually have interesting plots.. Although the Baudelaire orphans are in tough situations, the plots are not really dark. However, Count Olaf becomes darker, becoming uncouth cruel nasty and evil.
THE "DEFINITIONS" IN "THE AUSTERE ACADEMY"
Definitions of "advanced vocabulary" words is an almost trademark device of the of the series. However, in "books" 1 to 4 most of the definitions were misleading or just plain wrong. In "The Austere Academy", the author appears to make a sincere effort to explain not only "advanced vocabulary" words, such as "triptych", but also idiomatic phrases, such as "making a mountain out of a mole hill", and "following suit". Jolly good.
But he still occasionally reverts to form with some real boners. "Austere" is defined as "stern and sphere" A sentence such as: "The territorial crabs were unhappy to see small children in their living quarters", defines "territorial" in a particular context. But the assertion that "Territorial" MEANS ' unhappy to see small children in their living quarters'" is not true. Pseudo-definitions as a humorous device may entertain an adult reading the book to a child, but does not enlighten the child. Examples: ***"Gingerly" is defined as "avoiding territorial crabs", *** "Poor teacher" (which needs no definition) is defined as "obsessed with the metric system". *** "Glaze over" is defined as "ache with boredom". **** "Inevitable" is defined as "A lifetime of horror and woe". *** "Ruefully" is defined as "while pointing at a rude, violent, and filthy little girl". Possibly, some bright children may get the joke that the so-called definitions are NOT definitions, but rather only examples of use in a particular context--but I doubt that most 6-8 year olds are that sharp.
The ending is particularly depressing---not a good place to send your kids off to dreamland.
Austere Academy is AlrightSep 11, 2009
The Series of Unfortunate Events all have a dark theme and Austere Academy is no different. The author uses humor to lighten the mood but some children might find the general tone of the book hopeless. If you child is looking for a silver lining or a happy ending this may not be the book to get.
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